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Ask 10 different people what the word wholeness means to them and you might get 10 different responses!

In this incredible guest post, my dear friend Carol, shares with us God’s master key to wholeness. If living in freedom and drawing nearer to God’s heart are subjects of interest, you don’t want to miss this!

God's master key to wholeness

Carol is one of my favorite people on this planet. Her heart for Christ and people is apparent in all she does. Her words of encouragement, hope, and wisdom have gotten me through some very dark days.

She also happens to be one of my all-time favorite writers. She is gifted, anointed, and a true friend.

If you haven’t already, I highly recommend you get a copy of her book below! You will reference it time and time again.

You can also find her at her own blogs where she inspires and challenges us to live our best lives in and on purpose.

Click the links below for more wisdom & encouragement.

💡 Don’t forget to get your copy of Carol’s book, “Petitions from My Heart: A Scriptural Guide for Effective Prayers.” Click HERE to get yours on Amazon today!

Thank you Carol for blessing me with the honor of featuring you here at Wholeness Haven! You are always welcome!

As a note to everyone reading, we will be splitting this guest post into two parts. This way, we can really unpack and digest the message.

We can live free as followers of Christ. God’s master key to wholeness can transform us from emotionally barren to radically blessed. Here’s how! #Christian #God #wholeness #freedom #spirituality #Jesus

two black skeleton keys on an old paper
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God’s Master Key to Wholeness

Holly first came across my radar in November 2018, when the Lord used her to minister a prophetic word to me, at a time when I desperately needed reassurance from God. We have developed a virtual friendship ever since and I count it an honour to be asked to write this guest post for her blog community.

I do love the name and concept of Holly’s blog. I love that she is all about offering a nurturing place of safety and rest to those of a similar mind-set, who are seeking a spiritual balance in their lives, so I’ve decided to focus my post on the topic of wholeness.

Now, I imagine if you’ve been drawn to this blog, then you are possibly someone who recognises a deep inner need for healing and/or wholeness. I pray God uses my words to minister to you, on a level that adds to your spiritual well-being in Christ Jesus.

And now let’s get down to brass tacks!


After consulting several dictionaries, I’d like to share the following definition:


  • undamaged,
  • no part removed or left out;
  • not injured or broken.

A life of wholeness does not depend on what we experience. Wholeness depends on how we experience our lives.

Desmund Tutu

black mug with proverb from holy bible
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Our ‘Wholeness’ Issue

Let me kick-start my message with the following:

Now a certain man was there who had an infirmity thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there, and knew that he already had been in that condition a long time, He said to him, “Do you want to be made well?”

John 5:6 NKJV

One of my favourite Bible versions is the King James’ authorised version. Here, Jesus’s question to this man is recorded with a slight difference. He asks the infirm man whether he’d like to be made whole.

On the face of it, this seems to be a rather ridiculous question – but is it?

Here lies a man who has been in a state of incapacity for 38 years (you can read the entire account in John 5:1-15).

It made me think about my own life and about the struggles of many around me, which have been ongoing for many years. Do we not want our situation to improve?

Of course we do!

Yet there appears to be a significant gap between what we desire and what we experience, between what God’s Word promises and the reality we live in. Now I’m guessing that I, and other fellow believers in the Body of Christ are not alone in this, so let me ask you:

Are you suffering from some kind of spiritual or emotional or psychological malaise?

If so, do you want to be made well? Do you want to be whole?

Has God Forgotten Me?

Returning to the above Bible text, I can imagine that over the significant time frame which had elapsed, this man whilst waiting by the pool for a miracle, felt forgotten. Perhaps family members or friends had carried him there, then got fed-up waiting and left him.

Have you ever felt forgotten by God?

Allow me to reassure you today. You have not been forgotten!

Hebrews 4:13 advises:

And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account.

Isn’t that precious?

Now I realise that the above scripture is given in the context of God being able to discern our thoughts and intent, but I think we can apply the same truth to the fact that there is no injustice or act of abuse that God does not see.

There is no hurt, no pain, no wound, which has escaped God’s eagle eyes. Likewise, there is no individual who has either inflicted or sustained that wound, who escapes his notice!

The story of Hagar in Genesis 16:1-13 is a beautiful illustration of this. If you’d like to read my post relating to this, please click here.

In case you don’t feel inclined to, or don’t have time to read it now, let me reveal that Hagar is overwhelmed by the fact that a God she does not serve, has taken notice of her and cares about her predicament.

Now, if God takes note of someone who is a complete stranger to his covenant, how much more will he take notice of me and you, who are his beloved children?

Dear friend, let me repeat – God has not forgotten you!

God has not forgotten you!

So Why Are We Not Whole?

Okay. So if God has not forgotten us, why do we experience that gap between what his Word promises and what is often a negative and painful reality in our lives?

Why are we not whole?

May I be blunt?

Usually, it is our own fault.

I believe wholeness begins in our minds. As the writer of Proverbs rightly observes: as a man thinketh (i.e. thinks habitually), so is he!

For years I went around thinking, believing, saying that I was a victim. And I truly believed I was justified in thinking this way.

If I chose, I could regale to anyone who had an ear, the specifics of my mistreatment by work colleagues, family members, even church folks. I certainly rehearsed it in my mind. Often. And when there wasn’t anyone to whom I could confide, then I’d throw myself a prolonged pity party.

woman hiding her face
Photo by Deeana Creates on

Facing the Big “U” Factor

What on earth is the “U” factor?

I’m referring to the first letter of the word Unforgiveness and I am also referring to the text-speak version of the word YOU (i.e. both me and you), as seen from God’s perspective.

The thing is, I knew God’s Word required me to forgive, yet (even though I didn’t articulate this to the Lord), I felt the scale and frequency of the offences suffered, gave me special dispensation. I did not feel inclined to forgive.

I could not and would not. “They” didn’t deserve my forgiveness anyway but, even if I did forgive them, how would I feel when they continued to mistreat me? The Enemy lost no time in pointing out that I’d feel a first-class idiot! I’d feel a bigger victim than I already did. Why set myself up for more hurt?

And so guess what?

As well as the pain of everything I’d endured, seeds of resentment and bitterness began to grow and gnaw away at me. And no matter how often, or how hard I sought healing, those wounds would continue to open up.

Over time scabs or calluses grew over them, providing temporary relief. I mistakenly believed that I was healed, but new incidents of emotional abuse and mistreatment exposed this to be far from the case.

In her book, The Power Of A Praying Wife, Stormie Omartian observes:

The past should not be a place where we live, but something from which we learn.

Stormie Omartian

I not only lived in my past, I wallowed in it!

Have you lived, or are you wallowing in your past?

It has been said that it is foolish to keep repeating an action which does not produce the required result. Like the man in our opening text, the result we desire is to be healed and made whole.

Yet failing to forgive others, is an action we Christians tend to repeat again and again and again, thus undermining the very thing we need and desire. And then we wonder why we are not feeling complete, or happy, or have not progressed spiritually.

Friends, it took decades for me to realise this. However, I eventually graduated from that well-known university (Doing-It-The-Hard-Way), having learned that no amount of silent bargaining with God, of flouting the principles of kingdom living, would bring about my inner healing and deliverance, let alone wholeness.

It is a hard ask. To forgive. To let go. To pardon.

Our damaged self seeks reparation on our own terms. And if our disobedience and stubbornness means the only option available to us, is to apply a plaster to the festering wounds of our damaged hearts and self-esteem, well so be it!

Meanwhile, we either grasp every opportunity to tell all and sundry the sorry details of our unfortunate experiences, or (if you are anything like me), we don a poker-face and tell those who ask how life is treating us: I’m fine!

Click here to read part 2

  • Has any part of this post resonated with you?
  • Has your understanding of forgiveness changed since reading this?

Carol and I welcome your comments and look forward to hearing your thoughts on both posts.

© Carol Hind

Author of: Petitions From My Heart

Get your copy HERE today!

Sharing Is Caring! ♥ Thank You!


  1. Dear Holly,

    What can I say?

    You have done a beautiful job in your presentation of my words. So much so, I can’t wait to see part 2 (and I know what it says!) 🙂

    Thank you for all your hard work in presenting this. I think it has lifted what I had to say to a whole other level. And thank you for your most generous remarks about me and the flagging up of my book and blogs.

    May God continue to bless you and your wonderful blog ministry.

    1. Dearest Carol, you are the best! It is genuinely my pleasure to share your words with the readers here at Wholeness Haven. I believe in you and the gifts in your life. You are a gem!

      It makes me smile to hear that you are pleased with the way post 1 turned out! 🙂 My prayer is that more and more people will come to read your words, engage with you, and find comfort in your ministry. ♥ I pray God’s favor on ALL you do, and decree Deuteronomy 28:8 over you: “The LORD will send a blessing on your barns and on everything you put your hand to. The LORD your God will bless you in the land he is giving you.”

      God bless you, my friend. I believe the best is yet to come for you!

      1. I receive that blessing by faith in Jesus’ name. Amen!
        Thank you so much Holly.
        BTW – I am more than pleased with the way my post turned out through the work of your creative hands!

      2. Amen! You are more than welcome Carol. It genuinely makes me smile to hear that you are happy. By the way, I meant to tell you that I have my comments setting to manual approval. That’s why your comments (or your replies to other comments) don’t show right away. As soon as I approve the comment through WordPress, it will then show up live. 🙂 I do keep a close eye on comments so your replies or comments should show fairly quickly. 🙂 Thank you again, my friend! I am praying for you!

      3. Ok Holly. Thanks for explaining. I seem to experience so much trouble with trying to leave comments, particularly if the blogs are not viewed through the WordPress reader. Glad to know that it’s not because I’ve so tech un-savvy! Ha! Ha!
        And thanks for your prayers! 🙂

  2. Thank you for sharing this with us, Carol. And thank you, Holly, for bringing Carol to us. A beautiful post that I’m sure will uplift many and will make those with a love for Christ smile with abundance. I especially liked this part “Our damaged self seeks reparation on our own terms.” Very true. And we’re all different, we’re all damaged in our own ways and seek reparation in our own ways. xx

    1. Aw Caz, you are so kind! Thank you for your thoughtful words! Carol truly is a remarkable woman with a HUGE heart and I would love for as many people as possible to support her. She truly deserves it!

      You’re right, we are all different. Our experiences in life are certainly different because we were all created with a unique purpose. In my own life, I have become well-acquainted with the frailty of my limited understanding. When I seek reparation on my own terms, it can be messy, prolong the suffering, and even introduce new problems that weren’t there to begin with! That’s why one of the things I’ve come to appreciate most about God is His loving wisdom. Holy Spirit has healed in me and others what I *never* imagined was possible. If I had tried to do that myself, it never would have happened. God really is faithful, and knows what our finite brains can’t even begin to comprehend. 😉

      Sending my love to you, Caz. You know I love you & am so grateful for you always. ♥

    2. Hello dear blogger,
      Thank you so much for reading and sharing your response. It is most appreciated! It is my utmost pleasure to share God’s Word with those whom He chooses to draw through this blog. And thank you for your kind welcome and for letting me know which part spoke to your heart.
      Have a blessed weekend! 🙂

  3. This was such a well-written post. I resonated with so much of it, and agree that wholeness has to start in our minds. Oh my goodness…The Power of a Praying Wife is my marriage Bible. Whew!

    1. Hi Lady B! It is so good to hear from you, sis! I wholeheartedly agree with you about how Carol wrote this post. I hope you’ll return for part two! 🙂 And AMEN to wholeness starting in our minds. It can be challenging to challenge our thoughts, but it’s one of the greatest ways to true freedom in Christ.

      I love that you enjoyed “The Power of a Praying Wife” too and that it has blessed your marriage. That’s amazing! God bless you, sis!

    2. Hello Lady B,
      I am re-posting my response to your comment above, in case you have not seen it. Holly flagged up to me that it has been posted as a separate comment, rather than a response to yours. (see below)
      Dear Lady B,

      Thank you so much for your kind words about my writing. This is always good to hear, especially from someone who is not familiar with your work. I recall times whilst I worked on it feeling discouraged and dismissing this post as “utter rubbish” (the Enemy obviously speaking), and times when I felt happy with how the Holy Spirit directed me. It warms my heart to learn that its message resonates with you and I do appreciate your encouragement.

      I keep the Power of a Praying Wife on my desk and use it most (if not all) days, a prayer for each day of the month.

      Thank you so much for reading and engaging with my guest post Lady B.

      Bless you dear sis, and have a wonderful weekend! 🙂

  4. Such a beautiful post Holly & Carol. Thanks for sharing this with us. It is wonderful to read how kind and merciful the Lord is to reassure that we are not forgotten , it makes us feel safe and better and that we are not alone even in the deepest crisis. Nice points about forgiveness as well, very well said and something to reflect on.

    1. Dear Nisha,
      Thank you so, so much for reading my post and honouring me with your comment.
      It is truly wonderful how compassionate and merciful God is towards us. Whilst writing this I felt so challenged and humbled to think about Jesus’ unbelievable self-sacrifice. And yes, I too will be continuing to reflect upon the Holy Spirit’s inspired thoughts regarding forgiveness and wholeness.
      The Lord bless and keep you and have a great weekend! 🙂

    2. Nisha! Your words always have a way of warming my heart, dear friend! Thank you for your kindness extended to Carol & I. Your thoughtfulness is not taken for granted!

      I love what you said about how reassuring it is to know we are not forgotten by the Lord. Isn’t that the kind of thought that feels like a warm blanket being extended over our very being? Nothing escapes His notice — good or bad. It’s amazing when you think on it.

      Again, thank you, Nisha, for the time you take to be an encouragement to Carol and I. You are a blessing and I sincerely appreciate all you do and who you are! Sending my love, thoughts, and prayers your way! ♥

  5. Dear Lady B,

    Thank you so much for your kind words about my writing. This is always good to hear, especially from someone who is not familiar with your work. I recall times whilst I worked on it feeling discouraged and dismissing this post as “utter rubbish” (the Enemy obviously speaking), and times when I felt happy with how the Holy Spirit directed me. It warms my heart to learn that its message resonates with you and I do appreciate your encouragement.

    I keep the Power of a Praying Wife on my desk and use it most (if not all) days, a prayer for each day of the month.

    Thank you so much for reading and engaging with my guest post Lady B.

    Bless you dear sis, and have a wonderful weekend! 🙂

    1. My dear friend, oh how grateful I am to the Lord that you didn’t believe those lies Satan was feeding your mind about this post being “utter rubbish.” Please hear me when I say this — you could NEVER, ever, not in a million years, write anything that wasn’t pure gold. As you well know, it is often when the enemy tries his hardest to tell us something isn’t good that we know we’ve struck his nerve! You are beautifully gifted, anointed, and called as a writer. You pen words straight from the Throne Room and touch us all. I pray you never allow yourself to be discouraged about how gifted you are. You are a gem, one I treasure deeply!

      I pray you allow these encouraging words spoken about your post to sink into your heart and mind any time you are tempted to feel discouraged. You are amazing and God uses you every single day in many different ways.

      1. Dear Holly,
        Your words bring tears to my eyes. Trying to shake the discouragement this morning but finding it hard. Will get there!

  6. Such amazing truth and such an eye opener! I do hold a lot of bitterness in my heart towards people in my past. Even though I think I’ve forgiven, there are days when those bad thoughts just pop back up out of nowhere. What a great reminder to forgive and let go so we can finally be whole and happy in the Lord!

    1. Dearest Michelle, I always love your comments because you always have something valuable to add to the conversation. Thank you for all you do to be a blessing. “Blessings by Me” is the perfect way to describe you!

      Oh sis, believe you me, probably everyone here can relate to what you’re saying about holding bitterness you thought you’d let go of and/or forgiven concerning past situations. It may be just my humble opinion, but I think many times we *have* let go and forgiven. Yet, the enemy will test us as many times as he can by reminding us of when this or that happened. Just to see if he can get a rise out of us and get us back into sin, which opens the door to more oppression from his hand. Like you said, the thoughts can pop up out of nowhere it seems like.

      All we can do is continue to surrender those difficult and painful wounds over to the Lord, as many times as we need to. What counts is that we are doing just that and not letting them fester into huge gaping wounds that cause us untold grief. I love what you said, “so we can finally be whole and happy in the Lord.” — So good! 🙂

      Sending my love and appreciation to you, Michelle. You are valued by Carol & I both! ♥

    2. Dear Michelle,

      Thank you for stopping by and reading my post, and thank you for your generous response. I can certainly relate to you. It is troubling when those thoughts return. As we saw with the temptation of Jesus (the Bible tells us the devil left him for a while), the Enemy will return to goad us.
      When the hurt has been deep it’s not always easy to let go. Sometimes it’s just a matter of “re-forgiving” until it doesn’t become a feature anymore and at other times, it’s a matter of recognising that Satan is a Liar, seeking to get us to return to our old negative mindsets and habits. At those times we have to submit those thoughts and feelings to God and ask him to heal the memory of those hurts and also command Satan to desist with his tactics and get behind us!

  7. “I believe wholeness begins in our minds. As the writer of Proverbs rightly observes: as a man thinketh (i.e. thinks habitually), so is he!” Yes, yes, yes!! Since I’ve been dealing with how I think and see things, I have truly been more in love with God and able to just be. Not strive. Not try. Just be!!

    1. I adore this comment from you, Shell! Words can’t describe how I love hearing from you and the unique insights that you always bring with you. You’re amazing! ❤

      Amen to what you said about simply being in God – not striving – not trying – just resting in His love for us. That’s so beautiful, and it’s radical how that changes our thought life isn’t it? Simply by spending time in His presence, we can’t come out the same way we went in.

      Isn’t it remarkable how much what we think about ourselves and the world around us shapes our reality, in every sense? Dealing with our thought life and our perspectives is really tough. Some days feel overwhelming and it feels like ‘things will never get better or change.’ Then the Lord in His goodness reaches out, grabs our hand in love, shows us the way, and we begin to see our way out of the dark. Our struggle then becomes our story and our story becomes our strength, as we recall the faithfulness of our God, time and time again. 🙂

      You always have my love, dear friend. Thank you for being so special and for loving on Carol and I by sharing your thoughts.

    2. Hello dear Shell Vera,
      Thank you for reading and engaging with me.
      That observation in Proverbs is so challenging don’t you think? I think it is one scripture every child of God should memorise and seek to use to govern our thoughts. I’ve heard it said thoughts affect our emotions, emotions influence our decisions, decisions prompt our actions, our actions dictate our habits and our habits determine our character!
      Ever since I read that and realised the far-reaching impact of our thoughts, it’s motivated me to be more disciplined about my thought-life and guarding my mind.
      Wishing you a blessed week!

    1. Thank you so much Mark! I agree wholeheartedly with you. Sending my love to you and your family! We appreciate you sharing your thoughts with us ♥️

    2. Dear Mark
      Thank you for reading and responding and for your most encouraging comment. I appreciate you taking the time to support Holly. It’s been a pleasure to meet some of her followers. Your words are music to my ears and much needed balm for my soul. I must however give Holly credit for the beautiful way she has presented this post. 🙂
      Have a blessed week!

  8. Forgiveness is key isn’t it? Not just off others who we feel aggrieved by, but forgiveness of ourselves for mistakes we’ve made – even ones we make repeatedly.

    I’m struggling particularly strongly with two things at the moment, that are preventing me from being made whole by God. 1. Not going to sleep early enough to be well rated, and knowing this at the time I want to be in bed. Then, sometimes, I wallow in this decision. 2. Longing for the woman I will spend life with on my time, not waiting for God’s right time.

    If I open my heart to God’s grace and lay these things down, wholeness is waiting for me through Him. I know it, but (an unhelpful word in this context) I struggle to completely let go, even though that way lies peace.

    Thank you for this beautiful post and sharing of personal experience. ♥

    1. I love what you said about forgiving ourselves, Hamish! You are so very right. That can often be tougher than forgiving others. What do you think?

      Thank you for sharing what is on your heart at this time, brother. Though our circumstances may be different, I understand how difficult the waiting season can be. I do know the struggle of not going to bed early enough quite well. Are you a natural night owl? I pray that while working with Holy Spirit, you will come up with the perfect schedule custom-made for you! As for your future wife, I believe when you do meet her, every single day will have been worth the wait. I’m sure you’ve seen others who became impatient and picked unwisely. It really can wreck your direction in life. Remember this: Typically right before God releases the right woman into your life – Satan will release the counterfeit. Be very prayerful and seek God’s peace. I trust that Holy Spirit will protect you and guide you through it all!

      Letting go is very hard, I agree, Hamish. Like you, there are some areas that I have difficulty laying completely at His feet. Each day, as we learn to trust Father God more, I believe we leave more and more in His hands. He knows our hearts so intimately and is loving us through the process. He loves you and I trust that the best is yet to come for you!

      Thank you Hamish for your lovely words and for supporting Carol & I through your encouragement! ♥

      1. I definitely find it more difficult to forgive myself than others, but I am actively working on it. I’m a natural night owl, but am more productive in the mornings before my brain has a chance to ‘wake up’ and fill me with indecision and doubt. I’m also getting better at letting go when I go to bed too late, or get less sleep than I want. No point making it worse by being annoyed at myself for something I can’t change. I guess you could say I’m getting better at forgiving myself for having erratic sleeping patterns?

        Recently I finished reading a book “11 Days” by a New Zealand author Mark Holloway. He encourages having back and forth conversations with God. I’ve started trying this. Write out a question I have about something, and then continue writing expecting the answer to come. It’s strange and sometimes feels like I’m talking to myself, but whatever answer is given helps me sort through any fogginess in my mind. Sometimes it feels like I’m arguing for the worse outcome, and God is reminded me of His plan and to trust Him.

        A short story about some conversations with God: A couple of years ago while having pancakes at a Shrove Tuesday gathering I met a lovely girl who, within ten seconds of meeting each other, I realised was more facetious than me – difficult as I am highly facetious. She has an incredibly caring outlook on life, and has become one of my favourite people to spend time with. Recently through conversations God has been telling me to wait for her. I don’t know in what way, but I know this is something I need to leave for God. It’s not something I can know. What I *can* do is enjoy our friendship and the time we spend together, and keep listening to what God is saying.

        Thank you for your wisdom, particularly this: “Remember this: Typically right before God releases the right woman into your life – Satan will release the counterfeit. Be very prayerful and seek God’s peace.” I have not heard it before, but looking back on my life I can see moments where Satan has tempted me, and know there will be times it will happen again. Pray, lean into God’s peace, and listen to the right voices.

        Go well into the coming week. ❤

I Love Hearing From You!

Holly G.

Hi, I'm Holly! Lover of my husband, the Lord, nature and animals (especially cats!) I'm an INFJ (MBTI) which means I love deeply and care about the well-being of those around me and in this world.

I hope to hear from you at one of my sites. God bless! ♥

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