Unless you’ve been on another planet – you’re aware that we have a whole culture screaming, “I want to be pretty! Look at me!” I’ll be honest with you, my friend. I want to be pretty, too. But it’s not what it sounds like!
Let me explain…
are we objects or human beings?
When I thought up the idea for this post, I wondered how often the phrase, “I want to be pretty,” “Am I pretty,” or “How to be pretty” were Googled.
It was a common search and resulted in more than 2,460,000,000 matches.
There were endless tutorials on what color to dye your hair, what to wear or not, how to walk, how to talk, how to drop 10 pounds in 10 days. how to keep your man, all the latest phases and crazes, on and on. All of it… NONSENSE!
I’ll be completely honest. What I discovered grieved my heart in a way that I simply can’t express with words. It is the reason I am writing this today.
My mind saw images of girls and women all over the world, sitting at their keyboards, heads held low, feeling unworthy, unloved and unattractive.
I was a combination of intensely angry and sad as I thought about this rather vivid imagery.
Angry because I want so desperately to change a sick, shallow and twisted culture.
Saddened because I’d love to wrap my arms around these wounded women and help them see their worth in the same way I seek to remember my own.
Did you know, it’s a proven fact, the more we are exposed to something – the less it tends to affect us on a conscious, emotional level?
I’m not speaking about abuse and wounds from the past because these triggers remain fairly constant until healed.
What I am referring to are injustices, mental programming and the brainwashing trash being force fed as truth.
Those insidious, deceptive marketing tactics with the sole purpose of making us feel not good enough the way we are just so we will buy whatever it is they’re trying to sell this go ’round.
It’s how the abnormal becomes the ‘new normal.’ It’s how day after day we become more asleep and accepting of a culture’s toxic beliefs.
Little by little, we stop questioning the why behind what we see. We begin to accept, “this is just the way it is.” But it doesn’t have to be!
We must wake up, ladies and gentleman. We are not objects to be purchased, sold or cheapened. We are not robots without the ability to think, feel and do better.
We are created beings, formed and fashioned with love by a God who made us in His own image! (Gen 1:27)
We can’t expect positive change if we don’t challenge the voices and forces working against us. We must stand up and expect better, expect different and demand the change. – HollyTweet
It’s true that saying, “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” – Edmund Burke
By all means, be confident. Enjoy the things you enjoy. Just don’t do it because someone else is telling you this is what you should like or do.
It’s okay to question, “Is this really me?” or am I doing this because it’s what I’ve been told I must do in order to be ‘acceptable.’
You would be amazed how much precious energy we gain when we lose false identities and wrong thinking patterns. Freedom is priceless!
So to answer all of those precious people behind millions of Google searches – yes – I want to be pretty. I hope you do too…
Yes, I Want To Be Pretty …
❤ Pretty Fearless
❤ Pretty Confident
❤ Pretty Creative
❤ Pretty Kind
❤ Pretty Dedicated
❤ Pretty Forgiving
❤ Pretty Special
❤ Pretty Funny
❤ Pretty Patient
❤ Pretty Enduring
❤ Pretty Balanced
❤ Pretty Devoted
❤ Pretty Amazing
❤ Pretty Unique
❤ Pretty Thoughtful
❤ Pretty Giving
❤ Pretty Compassionate
❤ Pretty Wonderful
❤ Pretty Fascinating
❤ Pretty Loving
❤ Pretty (Fully) Faithful
❤ Pretty Encouraging
❤ Pretty Joyful
❤ Pretty Smart
❤ Pretty Inventive
❤ Pretty Successful
❤ Pretty Thoughtful
❤ Pretty Strong
❤ Pretty Helpful
❤ Pretty Graceful
❤ Pretty Charitable
❤ Pretty Virtuous
❤ Pretty Welcoming
22–23 But the fruit produced by the Holy Spirit within you is divine love in all its varied expressions:
joy that overflows, patience that endures, peace that subdues, kindness in action, a life full of virtue, faith that prevails, gentleness of heart, and strength of spirit.Galations 5:22-23 (TPT)
…How about you? Are you pretty? What kind of pretty are you?
In a world where most of us can be anything we choose; is “pretty” really the best we can do? Really?
Understand that I’m not saying there is anything at all wrong with feeling confident and comfortable in your skin.
Far from it, actually. Inner confidence always radiates outward.
What I am speaking of are the forced-upon-us-ideals of what pretty is supposed to look like, act like, think like, or dress like.
What is pretty, anyway? Is beauty not entirely subjective? The saying, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” is commonly used for a reason.
Some find beauty in the personality or character of another and could care less what their physical appearance is. I’m that way personally.
Outward appearances, material possessions and ‘status’ in life don’t impress me one bit. Have a beautiful heart full of uniqueness, love, loyalty, honesty, integrity and treat people with kindness? You are someone I can admire.
What one person would find appealing, another will find appalling.
We must learn to be okay with simply being who we are. And know that who we are is enough!
If someone loves you for who you are, great! You won’t be wasting precious time & energy trying to impress someone with a false, phony image or idea of who you are.
If you gain a relationship of any kind through being phony – have you really gained anything at all? What you will lose is far more precious: you will lose your identity and your dignity.
If someone doesn’t care for you, there’s no shame in that. Sometimes we’ll never “be enough” for certain people. It is reflective of their own issues and insecurities.
You should never take inward their hate or lack of care toward you and adopt it as your own, playing a negative tape in your mind for years to come.
It has nothing to do with you or your value. It simply means this person isn’t meant to be a participator in your life. It’s okay to move on & let go!
Just because someone doesn’t see our value doesn’t mean we don’t have it! – Holly ♥Tweet
**Please hear me** You do NOT have to be someone you’re not or do anything you don’t believe in doing to get approval!!
Anyone you feel the need to impress in this way is a total waste of your time. WALK AWAY QUICKLY and keep your dignity intact.
Not everyone has good intentions or integrity. But some do and they’re worth waiting for!
embrace the greatness of growing
If our focus is on beautifying the outer package, the inner being gets uglier with time. Neglect does that and it becomes more evident with every ticking moment of the clock.
‘Beautifying’ our bodies while neglecting the content of our hearts is about as smart as wrapping a box of manure in expensive wrapping paper with other fancy adornments and calling it a gift.
That’s no gift I’d want! Would you? 😲
Or consider a weed patch growing in the garden. At first, the weeds are manageable and a little time spent gets the situation under control.
Left alone, those weeds will take over the whole garden and ruin every bit of the beauty and hard work contained within it.
This is us. The ‘weeds’ of wrong thinking patterns leftover from a world crippled by an identity crisis have taken over and infected our minds and hearts entirely too often.
When we admire beautiful flowers – do we consider the time and growth it took for them to appear as they do?
They suffered the violence of roots expanding, pushing their way up forcefully through the soil – ignoring the challenge of growing pains.
They didn’t question whether they could or would. They didn’t question their worth or their beauty.
They simply know their purpose and do what they were born to do.
Because they know who they are and what they are created for, they pushed through discomfort and bless us with their wondrous creation.
How much more valuable and unique are we that our very fingerprints are ONE of a kind?
What kind of beautiful Creation could we be if we too choose to push through pain and grow? We are only limited by our unwillingness to change, to heal, to question our own stinking thinking.
You formed my innermost being, shaping my delicate inside and my intricate outside, and wove them all together in my mother’s womb. I thank you, God, for making me so mysteriously complex! Everything you do is marvelously breathtaking. It simply amazes me to think about it! How thoroughly you know me, Lord! You even formed every bone in my body when you created me in the secret place, carefully, skillfully shaping me from nothing to something. You saw who you created me to be before I became me! Before I’d ever seen the light of day (in my mother’s womb), the number of days you planned for me were already recorded in your book. Every single moment you are thinking of me! How precious and wonderful to consider that you cherish me constantly in your every thought! O God, your desires toward me are more than the grains of sand on every shore! When I awake each morning, you’re still with me!Psalms 139:13-18 (TPT)
Related: He Knows Your Name
you are more than you think and more than they said
Have you ever noticed how when you meet someone who by the culture’s standards are “beautiful,” and then get to know them for what’s inside – they may suddenly become very ugly?
Regardless of what the world and media around you says, ‘beauty’ and ‘pretty’ is not found in any body shape, size, skin color, hair color, material possession or any other fleeting status.
This culture has become so obsessed with the fallacy of a flawless image that a truly flawless heart has been neglected in every sense.
Computer software may be able to alter every image you see on magazine covers, social media and billboards. But they can never ‘fix’ what’s not right with the image in our minds and hearts.
It is then that the depth of true ugliness is revealed. So much of what we see wrong in this world today reflects this very truth.
It’s not a cliche. What’s inside IS what matters because it’s the only lasting feature about us.
Our inner character won’t fade with time but will instead increase if only we actively choose to water the seeds of goodness.
When the beauty of time’s wisdom comes and the wrinkles or grey hair appear, what then? Who will you be? What will you do?
You are not who or what you see in the mirror. How we look on the outside should have very little, if anything, to do with our identity.Tweet
When we have the unshakable truth on the inside of us that we were created for so much more than being an ornament, we become free.
I love how Beauty Redefined puts it: “You are more than a body. See more. Be more. Your body is an instrument, NOT an ornament.”
Know your worth. Live from a place of purpose. Be unashamed in your uniqueness and strengths.
No trend, no opinion and no difficulty in life will be able to shake you when you know your own personal truth of who you are and what you were designed to do.
When I was at my weakest, my enemies attacked— but the Lord held on to me. His love broke open the way and he brought me into a beautiful broad place. He rescued me—because His delight is in me! He rewarded me for doing what’s right and staying pure.Psalms 18:18-20
Our value can’t be attached to anything subject to change without us living in fear of losing that very thing. – Holly ♥Tweet
If we attach our value to our physical appearance, age, financial status, job title, marital status; what happens to our identity when the status changes?
You are loved. A beautiful masterpiece created with great care. Don’t ever allow anyone or anything to cheapen you.
You were bought with a price and the price was my very life.– Jesus ♥
resources for building self esteem
While the so-called “body positivity” campaigns mean no harm, they still put the focus where it doesn’t belong: on the body!
It’s time to change our thinking. Women empowerment shouldn’t be about our bodies. Are we not more than that?
Are men not more than their paychecks? Their cars? Their possessions? Of course they are!
Change is needed. Will you join me and so many others in being aware of how we support these toxic ideals, even without meaning to? We have the power to shift perspectives, starting with one person at a time!
❣ Beauty Redefined – a wonderful resource for women of all ages that struggle with self-objectification and to be more aware of lies believed about our image. With awareness comes change.
❣ Self-Esteem School for Christians – A comprehensive site full of articles to help build your self confidence and faith.
❣ When Women Inspire – My dear friend Christy has created a platform to promote the strength of women worldwide. She inspires us to know we ARE more and are capable of anything we set our minds to.
❣ End Sexual Exploitation – Sign the petitions and support the cause. This website seeks to bring awareness to the numbing of societies to female objectification in media and elsewhere.
If you know of a resource that has helped you or someone you love, I’d love to hear about it in the comments below.
YOU are pretty awesome
I am grateful for you, your support and encouragement. Hearing from you always makes my day!
What are your thoughts on this topic? Have you struggled in your life with loving yourself?
Thank you for sharing this message with your social media family too. We need all the voices in the fight we can get!
Oh, hey! I almost forgot. There is one thing you do need to be: YOU! That’s it, that’s all. 😊
Lots of Love To You & Yours,
I leave you with one of the most powerful worship songs I’ve ever heard. Be blessed!