Are you ready to stop doubting yourself? Has self doubt robbed you of too much in your life? Are you tired of facing the same battles over and over again? Me too! Let’s kick self doubt in the teeth, and win the battle against self doubt for good!
Self doubt doesn’t have to rule your life! Stop doubting yourself and start living. Try these simple steps to lose fear and regain your confidence. #selfdoubt #mentalhealth #selfworth #selfconfidence #selfesteem #fear #selfcareTweet
How Self Doubt Affects Us
Self doubt is a beast of an enemy. It can make you question everything about yourself and your abilities. It can paralyze you into inaction.
So where does this feeling come from? When we dig further into the roots of self-doubt, we will find fear. Each person’s fear might be different than the next but it is still fear.
Fear of rejection or being judged wrongly: What will they think?
Fear of failure: What if I try and it doesn’t turn out at all like I hoped?
My belief is this is a topic of conversation worth talking about. How much more can we achieve if we stop doubting and start living?
Have you ever asked yourself any of these questions?
- Am I good enough?
- Do I have what it takes to succeed?
- Why am I staring at this blank screen – unable to push through and just write?
- Do I have anything worth offering or am I just another voice in a sea of voices?
- Is this ‘just a good idea’ or am I supposed to pursue this dream or opportunity?
- Am I doing the right thing?
You and I could probably sit down together with a caffeinated beverage and come up with an endless list of thoughts related to this crippling doubt.
Stop Doubting Yourself:
What I’ve Learned About Kicking Self Doubt’s Butt
Overcoming this nasty feeling may not be the easiest thing in the world to do. But luckily, with the right weapons in your arsenal, it is doable!
You are not alone in your battle. I get it and so do many others. Thankfully though, you don’t have to put up with the nagging voices in your mind telling you that ‘you can’t.’ Oh yes you can & you will!
As I’ve shown up to the battlefield of self-doubt, here are the lessons I’ve learned thus far on how to overcome the overwhelm.
#1 – think of how far you’ve already come from where you were
Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.T.S. Eliot
Have you accomplished anything at all? I bet your answer is yes! Even if what you’ve accomplished seems small to you – it’s still an accomplishment!
Often, when we suffer from insecurity, fear, self-doubt or any other nasty emotion, it’s easy to downplay our achievements.
Not everyone could do what you’ve already done. Stop for a moment and give yourself credit for even those small wins.
When you realize, “I’m not where I want to be, but I sure have come a long ways from where I was,” everything seems much more manageable.
Having a dream is easy. Having the courage to go after that dream can be hard work. Realize that the dream in your heart is worth attaining. Settling for a life of mediocrity and playing it safe will never satisfy you.
#2 – comparison robs you of joy, creativity and security
Comparison is the thief of joyTheodore Roosevelt
Don’t do it! 🙂 Okay, I know it’s much easier said than done.
In this social media age, the comparison game has become easier than ever. Every photo seems to depict the perfect life. They have it all together, right?
No. Actually, they don’t. You only see what they want you to see.
Related post: I Want To Be Pretty: Do You? (But it’s not what you think!)
They don’t show you the bills piling up on their counter-top. You don’t see the blow up fight just before the staged photo was taken.
The process before the picture of the perfect lighting, angle, etc aren’t included.
You also can’t see inside that person’s mind to read their thoughts. What you see is NOT always what you get.
I would venture to bet that in 99.99% of the cases, you will find thoughts just like yours and mine. You will find insecurities, fears, pressures, doubts, worries, anxieties, good days, bad days and everything in between.
There is no such thing as ‘the perfect life.’ Sure, some are easier than others. That still doesn’t make it perfect.
Don’t buy into the lies. When you compare your life, your home, your kids, your work, your body, your creativity, your anything, with a reality that doesn’t even exist, what good does that accomplish?
If you need to, shut down social media. Unfollow toxic people and ideals. Take a break from negativity. Preferably, get rid of it for good.
As you read blogs or other media, remember that no one has it all figured out. Even the ‘experts’ in a field are still learning, if they’re smart. Take into consideration how long that person has been doing what they’re doing to achieve where they are.
We are all at different points in our journey called life. In areas where you are strong, I may be weak. Where I am strong, you are weak.
It is our uniqueness that makes us awesome. Our differences make us stronger when we come together.
Think on this: What advice would you give someone in your very shoes? Give yourself that same kindness and advice. You’re worth it!
#3 – short term goals vs. long term
If I focus on the short-term goals, then the long-term goals are going to be in my favor.Crystal Dunn
Sometimes, the reason we feel overwhelmed with self-doubt is because we are focusing too much on the big picture.
As an INFJ, I’m extremely guilty of this one. If you are anything like me, sometimes the smaller steps of action take a backseat to dreaming about the final result.
Unfortunately, this way of thinking leads to overwhelm. It also tends to create thoughts like, “There’s no way I can accomplish that!” “How am I going to get there?” “I might as well just give up now because I’ll never achieve what it is I hope for.”
Focusing too much on the long term goals can seem unattainable.
Consider this: If you make a short-term goal you can accomplish TODAY, when you achieve it – how much better will you feel about your progress?
Each one of those small, achievable goals being accomplished will fuel you to keep going toward your long-term goals.
It is healthy to have both long and short term goals. Just be sure to balance the two.
Weight loss is a great example. It’s much easier to focus on losing (or gaining) 5 pounds than it is to focus on 50. Smaller, bite sized goals and successes lead to even greater wins in the future.
#4 – choose your company wisely
People inspire you, or they drain you – pick them wisely.Hans Hansen
This could have probably been at #1 in terms of importance. The outside voices you listen to can make or break your success.
Ever heard that saying, “You are who you surround yourself with?” It is 100% true. Birds of a feather tend to flock together. If the group you associate with believe you need to settle in life, because, ‘this is as good as it gets,’ you probably won’t go far. Or if they tend to act/talk a certain way – guess what? Most likely, you will too.
Chances are, negative people won’t fill your mind with positivity. They will limit you in the same way they feel limited.
Many of us are struggling with self-doubt because of our childhoods and friendships. If all you heard growing up, whether intentionally or not, was that ‘you can’t,’ it takes work to believe you can.
Letting naysayers go in your life is OK! At a minimum, you need to severely limit your exposure to them. There isn’t much worse than having a goal you are working toward and having someone close to you tell you to give up because you’ll never make it.
For some people, this is fuel to push harder. However for most, it only reinforces the self-doubt, fears and limiting belief patterns.
Anything worth having in life won’t come easy. It will take some sacrifice, hard work and dedication. But you absolutely can achieve anything you set your mind to do.
#5 – go back to the beginning
Sometimes it is necessary to go back before we can move forward.Mary Balogh
Whatever your project or goal is, what first excited you about it? Go back to that in your mind. Remember the giddy excitement you felt when you dreamed it up. Allow yourself to experience that again.
Did you feel capable of achieving it then? Of course you did! You wouldn’t have begun if you didn’t. So why is now any different?
Begin to carefully examine what events (or people) discouraged you and made you doubt your ability. What thoughts are you thinking? Become aware of what’s in your heart and in your mind.
Some people call this phase ‘rediscovering your WHY.’ Why did you choose what you chose in the first place? Chances are it’s because you believed you were capable.
What tends to happen is, the further we get into something, the more fear we begin to encounter. Our fear increases because we become more attached to the final outcome and the process. You are more invested in wanting to see it succeed.
The more invested you are, the more you have the potential to get hurt. Since most of us human beings aren’t big fans of being hurt, we will avoid the potential of pain by giving up. Self-doubt wins again.
Consider this: What if what you dream of doesn’t fail? What if it succeeds instead?
#6 – ask yourself: why am I doubting?
If you accept a limiting belief, then it will become a truth for you.Louise Hay
This one is critically important to our success. Have you ever really wondered why you are doubting yourself in the first place?
What messages did you receive growing up that could be contributing to your lack of self-esteem now? Who told you to give up your dream? Who told you it wasn’t possible? Did you take over and start telling yourself that same lie?
Most people aren’t born with the attitude of, ‘I can’t.’ Somewhere along the way life knocks our hearts into a state of disbelieving. Simply settling. “Yeah, I’d love to see that happen…but it was never meant to be for me. I’m not really supposed to be happy.” “People where I come from don’t get lucky like that.”
It’s a fact: people who gave up on their dreams will try and get you to give up on yours. Misery loves company, my friend. Negativity breeds more negativity.
Recognizing limiting beliefs is a great first step in eradicating self-doubt because the two work hand in hand. They’re practically one in the same.
Working with a coach or counselor that specializes in helping you to identify your blindspot areas of doubt and limitation will help you move past these troublesome thoughts.
#7 – you are more than your mistakes
“There are no mistakes in life, only lessons. There is no such thing as a negative experience, only opportunities to grow, learn and advance along the road of selfmastery. From struggle comes strength. Even pain can be a wonderful teacher”Robin Sharma
In this life, we will make mistakes. Hopefully we will learn from them and grow into better people.
You will have starts and stops on this journey. You will have what seemed like great ideas and turned out to be anything but. Don’t beat yourself up for it! If you’ve started a project or plan and there is no hope for it working out, let it go! That’s perfectly okay!
Just because in your past you weren’t successful with something, doesn’t mean you won’t be now! Don’t let your past stop you. Don’t get hung up on what didn’t go right back then.
This is now. You have a chance now to succeed and fulfill that longing in your heart.
I have a piece of print art here in my office. It reads: “The past is your lesson. The present is your gift. The future is your motivation.”
What will we decide to do this day to appreciate the gift we’ve been given?
#8 – it doesn’t matter what they think!
Taking wise advice from trustworthy sources will help us grow and mature into the people we aspire to be.
The problem comes in when our thoughts turn to, ‘but what will they think??’ If everything we do revolves around pleasing other people, we’ve got a big problem.
Other people won’t always understand the vision inside of you. It isn’t their journey to take. If you are waiting for their validation of you, you might never get it. Don’t let this stop you.
Worrying about what others will think of you stems from a fear of rejection. This particular fear causes you to reject yourself and who you really are. No wonder it creates a storm of self-doubt!
If ‘they’ can’t love you for who you are authentically, it really is their loss. You need to be true to you, your heart and your purpose. Anything less than fully living is an empty shell of an existence.
#9 – forget fear! go for it!
Do it afraid!Joyce Meyer
One of the best ways to overcome self-doubt? Put on your best armor, push your way through like a bull and go for it! Just start. One small step at a time. You will eventually look back and see those small steps have turned into giant leaps.
Ask yourself: what’s the worst that could happen? I am NOT referring to reckless or harmful behaviors. Lets get that straight 🙂
(If your answer to this is something major like losing a marriage, financial security or your health – it might be time to reconsider. At a minimum, please seek professional advice)
Sometimes our greatest rewards come from our greatest risks. After my abusive history in relationships, I was terrified to marry my husband. I did it anyway and am grateful I did. Choosing fear would have made me miss out on the greatest blessing in my life; his love, devotion and willingness to be a better man for us each and every day.
Sit down with pen and paper. Weigh out and write down your pros and cons. What will happen if you don’t try? What would happen if you DO try? What’s the best scenario and what’s the worst?
Writing these thoughts out will help you get clarity on what’s important. Our minds can become so cluttered with a mixture of truth and lies. Sorting out what’s what brings understanding and can automatically tear down fear and self doubt.
As you process all of the information you’ve discovered, take a walk in nature. Walking helps us think and process information better. The increased oxygen flow and neuron firings bring clarity where we are uncertain.
#10 – cut yourself some slack
It’s funny, just this afternoon as I talked to my husband Bill during lunch, I said, “I wonder if this article is any good. I wonder if it will help anyone?”
Bill then pointed out to me, “Isn’t that a form of self doubt in itself?” To which I replied, “Yes, actually it is!”
So you see – we doubt ourselves far more than we realize at times. Asking others you love and trust to offer you insight when you are ‘doing it again’ can be very healing. In those moments, your awareness of your self-defeating patterns can point out areas to focus your work on.
Cut yourself some slack. Try to believe the best. We tend to underestimate the power of ourselves, our words and our giftings. You never know the impact you might have by simply being you.
When we think it isn’t good enough, those just might be the very words or actions that change someone’s life!
#11 – pray for understanding
Wisdom is the principal thing; Therefore get wisdom. And in all your getting, get understanding.Proverbs 4:7
I know that not everyone believes in the power of prayer. I do. I’ve seen the power of God at work in my life over and over again.
When you don’t know what to do and doubt is taking over, humble yourself in prayer. Ask Father God to show you what to do. Listen and He will.
The root of self doubt and fear in our lives can come from so many different places. Only the One who made you knows exactly where you’ve believed a lie. He has the ability to uproot it and set you free. You need only ask. It is His great pleasure to be there for you.
Self Doubt Doesn’t Have To Rule Your Life
“When you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt.”Honore de Balzac
Doubting ourselves really means doubting our worth and our abilities. Going the route of discovering why we feel the way we do about ourselves might be messy and painful. But it is the only surefire way to be free from the haunting fears.
Use your self doubt as a way to examine the parts of yourself that cry out for help, just as a small child would. These pieces of you need and deserve healing. Your future depends on you being whole.
Silence your inner critic by heaping hot coals of love all over it. When you are tempted to tear yourself down – build yourself up instead. On purpose.
The more kindness we extend to ourselves, the more we will be freed from the grips of self hate, self doubt, anxiety and insecurity.
It’s not the easiest road to travel by any stretch of the imagination. I travel it daily to be honest for a multitude of reasons. Maybe you do too. The more we affirm ourselves for the value we offer, the more self doubt succumbs to self confidence.
Would you treat someone else the way you treat yourself?
Did this article help you identify some areas of self doubt? How did you win the battle against self doubt?
Thank you for sharing this post with your friends on social media. I appreciate you!
All My Very Best Love Heading Your Way,
Stay awesome Holly!!
Aww! I’m blushing! 😀 Thank you for the encouragement!
I agree. Prayer is power! We serve a mighty & awesome God my friend!
You’re welcome 😝😁
I absolutely agree!
Great Post Holly. I still battle with being more confident. I am a very shy person and it affects me many times. I’m really working on myself, and believing more in my abilities. Thanks for sharing this amazing post.
I pray you fully come to realize just how awesome you are. You were gifted unique abilities that no one else has. Even your shyness is beautiful. ❤
Know that you are who you are and how you are for a reason. Know that everything you’ve been through has been for a reason. You are touching lives and hearts with your unique voice. You are wonderfully created 🙂
Many blessings to you, sis. Thank you so much for your precious comment. I appreciate you! 🤗
Thank you so much Holly. Your words really mean a lot💖💖💖💖💖💖.
This is one of those posts that will help a lot of people. So many good ones here, think my favorites are 2, 4, 6 and especially 11. There have been so many prayers of mine that have been answered and for the ones that weren’t well lets just say I am grateful they weren’t because those were lessons in life I needed at the time.
To help me get over my fears of self doubt I imagine I am teaching my children something and they need me to pass that knowledge down to them. When things get too stressful with everyday life situations, I create something and go for walks out in nature.
When I am finishing creating something I usually give it away to someone which also makes me feel good. Giving out gifts to others like baked goods and handmade items does make others including ourselves feel good. Great post Holly, thank you for sharing.
Your comment has deeply touched my heart! Your encouragement means more than I can say. These were words I needed to hear at this very moment. Thank you! 🤗
Amen to the power of prayer. Isn’t it amazing as we look back on our lives just how many unanswered prayers we are grateful for? You have spoken wise words here. Wisdom really is priceless.
I adore your ways of overcoming self doubt. The idea of passing your knowledge down to your children helps put things in to perspective. Being able to ask, “Is this something I want to teach them?” Wow, that’s powerful. I love how you love those kids and the heart you are instilling in them. In all sincerity, I applaud you for the stellar job you do in raising them well. I can only imagine how wonderful they are!
Creating something and going for walks out in nature really are the best therapies for much of what ails us, isn’t it? I’m a firm believer in the power of creating. I believe that because our Creator is the master at creating – He gave us that same longing to use a creative outlet for expression. What do you think?
Your heart is truly beautiful and I am grateful you are here on this Earth. It’s a much better place because of you! Thank you again for your thoughtful words. Your impact is greater than you realize. 🤗
Thank you Holly, and yes I agree about God gifting everyone of us with the gift of creating as well. I always tell my kids we all have a gift we are given to us by God and it is up to us to figure out what that is. Not everyone has the same gift so never be jealous or bitter because you like someone else’s gift.
Some people are born to paint, cook, care for others, heal, write, or even make people just laugh…and they are all gifts. Just have to find yours and be happy with it. There are some people who get distracted with wanting a different gift, so sadly they never discover what there true gift was after all because they are too busy chasing someone else’s gift.
Everything I teach my kids I learned from long talks I had with my father as a kid. He could talk. I had lots of great mentors growing up, they get all the credit for what I am passing down. Even though they are not here in physical form their spirit always lives on in their words they shared all those years ago.
Lovely post Holly, inspiring and thought provoking. I suppose lots of us experience periods of self doubt, I know I do when my mood drops – “Was I a good Mum to my two sons?” gets me! However, they’re adults now, young men, so I need to let this go!
You know, I think that question of good parent vs. bad parent is a tough one for a lot of folks. There is no manual when it comes to raising kids. We just simply do the best we can with what we know in the moment. What we witnessed growing up either fuels us to do better or to emulate the goodness we had. I can guarantee you that you are and were a GREAT Mum. I’m not just saying that. The very fact that you are even asking yourself this question tells me you are wonderful. People who are bad parents wouldn’t care enough to even bother asking themselves the question. I hope that helps alleviate some of your anxiety and self doubt 🤗
Even when you do everything right – kids will still make mistakes. That’s not always a reflection on how well a parent performed. We did stupid stuff and so will they. The test is in how well they grow and learn from those mistakes according to the wisdom you blessed their lives with. And I believe you did prepare your kids well. ♥
Bless your heart! Thank you so much for those kind words. I am so blessed to hear it touched you! I am praying your day is blessed and your heart filled with joy! 🙏🏼
Be patient with yourself,nothing in nature blooms whole year
This is one excellent quote Holly!!
Self doubt kills confidence. It has happened with me so I can relat this very well.I just gave myself some time to explore myself,look around and gave some rest to myself physically and emotionally. This was so helpful to overcome with my lost confidence and shattered courage.
This post should be read by many more people. It is probably one of the best article by you!!
Have a wonderful week ahead..!
Dearest Deeksha, your words have touched my heart! THANK YOU! ❤
Sometimes, just like you’ve beautifully said, we need to step back and take that time to just rest our weary selves. Indeed, nothing in nature blooms all year 🙂 We must care enough for ourselves to throw off the burdens and minister to ourselves.
I love that you have taken the time to do just that my friend! You are an encouragement and a blessing to us all. I’m glad you’re here 🤗 Praying your week ahead is wonderful & blessed as well!
Lovely post Holly and you’ve probably touched a nerve with a lot of us who experience self-doubt. I’m now unfortunately disabled now and feel useless a lot of the time. What do I do for my sons to be proud of me? My two now adult sons always tell to “be compassionate towards yourself Mama.” and they’ll say “Hey look at us Mama, we’ve turned out ok.”
Remember this: Your value is not tied to HOW you are. It’s tied to WHO you are. How is affected by physical traits or financial status. These things can and do change throughout our lives. If our worth and value is tied to them, we are in trouble.
When your value is in WHO you are, your heart will speak for itself. No physical limitations will change what you’ve learned, how loving you are or how much you have to offer as a person or parent.
You are never useless. Your life is never worthless, either. You never could be. The very fact that he has you here with him to guide him is all he needs. Everything else is temporal and subject to change.
I agree with your son – show yourself compassion because you deserve it. You are worthy of love, compassion and all the respect in this world. Nothing could ever change that fact! You’re doing just fine ❤
Wow that was quick! But thank you so much for your kind words. I’ll try to hang on to them 🙂 Caz x
Wow, this is absolutely fantastic! So thorough and incredibly relatable. I think I still struggle with a lot of these so they’re like a continual ‘work in progress’, but you’ve made brilliant points and suggestions. Things like not comparing to others, cutting ourselves some slack and looking beyond the failures are all so hard to do, yet so important. I’ve also found, since dealing with chronic illness, that I do have to break things down into smaller more manageable tasks so I work more on those small, short term goals now too; I hadn’t considered that actually goes towards helping our confidence and fighting the battle against self-doubt but you’re right, it really does. Seriously, Holly, you’ve done amazingly with this post!!! 😄 ♥
I just love you, Caz 😀 You leave the most thoughtful comments! Honestly, thank you. ♥
I know exactly what you mean… it is a work in progress. I think we don’t even realize how much we do doubt and tear ourselves down. It becomes that automatic tape playing in our minds. Before we know it, what we’ve been thinking and speaking about ourselves causes us to stop being who we really are.
Mm hm, I know exactly what you mean about needing to break tasks down into smaller ones to make them manageable. You really do start to realize, “Oh! I can do this!” When you’re looking at a pile of laundry that’s been sitting there and it would take all day to do it but you only have the energy for one load – it’s pretty overwhelming. Chances are, we just won’t do it. Facing something difficult isn’t the most fun thing in the world to do! 😛 And sometimes, we simply don’t have the emotional or physical energy to do it. One or two loads? Consider it done. Life is the same way sometimes I think.
Thank you again for your kindness. Your encouragement has helped more than you know! 🤗
You’re a smart lady!
You better stop making me blush over here Diane 🤣
Hard-won wisdom in life is all the more important to hold on to, isn’t it? Better to learn it the first time than to keep repeating the same mistakes, haha. 😉
This is such an amazing article and something I definitely needed to read right now. I’m really bad about focusing on the long term goals and getting frustrated when they don’t work out. I think this house renovation has really taught me how important short term goals really are. Even still I have days where I just want to skip all the steps and move already! Thank you for your wonderful advice! I’ve pinned this so I can keep referring back to it because I know I’ll need it again.
I hear you my friend! It’s tough when you’re caught up in the middle of it all! I believe God has a sense of humor because He often will use our everyday stuff (like your home renovation) to teach us how to slow down and take things one small chewy bit at a time. Learning to simply rest is a big one!
I get you very much. It’s so easy to want that final result and just skip the rest. I think certain personalities are more prone to it than others. We sound to be in the same boat 😀 I guess we both need to learn to enjoy the journey a bit more, huh?
Thank you so much Michelle for such sweet comments. You always make my day. ❤
Great post with so much good advice. Thanks for stopping by my blog and giving it a follow. I’m glad we’ve connected! xx
Thank you so much for your kind words. They mean more to me than I can say. I’m glad we are connected too! 💕 Hope your weekend is wonderful!
this is a really interesting and educative share…thanks for taking your time to highlight and discuss such important points on self-doubt
Thank you so much Ihagh. I am grateful you enjoyed 🙂
you’re welcome; I did
This is a powerful post! I don’t know where to start. 🤣
Most of us want to feel good about ourselves.
What I’ve learned about myself from my 12 steps program, is the fact I don’t accept myself on a deeper level.
Learning to love me is a life long process.
I had to learn how to see myself the way God sees me.
I first had to accept that I made a mess of my life trying to live without God.
Then I had to forgive myself for not knowing who I really was.
Finally, I had to come to believe God’s had a plan for me and I must line my will up with His will.
What helps me the most is thinking about how far I’ve come because of His grace.
This put everything I’m going through at the time, in its proper perspective.
Our lives are not going to change until we first accept that we are nothing without Him and this post makes that very clear to me.
Thanks for the hope!
Hey Vernon! Great to hear from you brother! I encourage others to go to your blog because the wisdom and insight you share there is awesome. Every time I visit, I am profoundly touched! God bless you for sharing so much of your heart and for encouraging others to grow and expand their own stinkin’ thinkin’!
Wow Vernon. I absolutely adore what you’ve shared here in this comment. That’s pure power. Isn’t it amazing how God takes what the enemy meant for our demise and turns it around for a blessing? What you’ve taken away from the 12 step program is a perfect example!
I’ve been sitting here trying to think of a way to reply to this message and all I can come up with is, “Amen! I second that wholeheartedly!” 🤣 Honestly, you couldn’t have said it any better if you tried.
I love how you said, “I had to forgive myself for not knowing who I really was.” Yes! You know, there is so much hate in this world. It feels like it is increasing again now. Your thought reminded me about how when we know who and WHOSE we are – it’s pretty much impossible to shake us. You know?
I thank you for the hope as well, Vernon. Keep being you because you’re awesome and you’re changing lives for the Kingdom of God. We need your voice!
Much love and many blessings to you and your family. 🙏🏼
Thank you so much. I appreciate your kind words. 🙌
Excellent advice, Holly!! And I mean it! Self-doubt is crippling and will cause such great harm by robbing you of what “could be”. I’ve been struggling with this very concept lately. As we go on our healing journey, it seems we travel in circles, ever rising to another level. You’ve got the self-doubt down. You walk with confidence. Then, slam! Everything around you seems suddenly too much and the experiences leave you “shocked into silence”. Self-doubt comes in. Your confidence is missing. This is only another opportunity to rise even higher, into more difficult terrain for you. It’s not easy. And boy does it shake you to your very soul. At least it does me. Anyways …..
LOVE this post! You go, girl!!! xoxo
Dearest Amy, thank you so much for these heartfelt words. You are a blessing and an encouragement! 🤗 I had typed a reply to this beautiful comment and it disappeared (sigh). I just love technology sometimes.
I wholeheartedly agree with what you’ve said here. SO very true. No matter our age or stage in life – we can always be better for ourselves and others. Just as gold becomes purified in the fire – so it is with us. Yet those who stop growing in life are not the types of folks I’d want to be around. 🙂 Wouldn’t you agree?
Indeed, self doubt does completely shake our confidence and our standing in life. To our very cores, just as you’ve brilliantly said. It isn’t easy but that stage of learning teaches us so much. We learn more in sorrow than in celebration. When we must show up to the battlefield, we become stronger, wiser and much more able to handle whatever may come.
So grateful for you dear Amy. Thank you for this awesome reply. 🌹
We encourage each other, at least that is the way I see things. Life is all about learning …. some who have tunnel vision do not see the potentials they have in order to grow from. I’m dealing with such a situation now and I’m praying for guidance in order to speak to someone with hope ears are open as well as the heart. I see someone setting herself up for unbearable hardships yet she does not see for her eyes are only on one aspect of this situation. Timing is everything and the fact I will stress what I am saying is “my opinion and nothing more”.
Anyways …. you are welcome, Holly. It is those like you who keep me going in the blog world. I do get so discouraged at times. Bless you and may your day be wonderful!! xo
I’m happy to say I don’t deal with this anymore. I think it comes with age. It just doesn’t matter as much when you’re retired.
Have a fabulous day and week, Holly. ♥
I am grateful to hear that Sandee 🙂 Always a blessing!
Wishing you a wonderful week ahead too friend 🙂
You are amazing, Holly! Thank you for sharing this. 😊❤️
Aw! Thank you dear Winnie 🤗
You’re welcome, dear Holly! 😊❤️🌺
What an outstanding post Holly! You make some excellent points about moving from self-doubt to confidence. So many of us struggle with self-doubt, and you’ve shared some concrete, actionable steps to help us move forward in the face of that doubt. Thank you!
Thank you Terri for such thoughtful words! I appreciate your encouragement so much.
It was my hope and prayer that this post would really touch lives and change them for the better. Self doubt robs us of so much!
Our favorite of this list is the Short Term Goals VS. Long Term Goals. This is so important! If you only ever have long term goals, you never feel like you are accomplishing anything. But once you add in short term goals, you feel like you are accomplishing those, as well as getting closer to that long term goal you have your eye on.
Exactly! I love your reply 🙂 You’re absolutely correct – you do feel like you are accomplishing your long term goals when you focus more on the short term. You realize each day that you are closer to whatever you’ve set your mind to. It adds such great motivation!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me. I hope your week is wonderful & blessed!
These are excellent tips!!
Thank you so much 🙂 I am glad you enjoyed the post.
You’re welcome 😇
Such wonderful encouragement! I have to admit, self doubt is definitely something that I’ve allowed to pester me and steal my joy way too often and for way too long. Continuing to learn to trust in the Lord.
I am so sorry that I’m just now replying to this beautiful message. I apologize for my delay!
I understand wholeheartedly what you mean. Self doubt absolutely does steal our God-given joy far more than we’d care to admit. Trusting in the Lord is the most effective antidote to feeling that sense of “not being good enough.” We have a very real enemy who seeks to hurt us on every level.
My heart is glad that this post encouraged you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your heart! I love hearing from you 🤗
I forgot to tell you I posted a link to your site in my favorites and updates. Thank you Holly.
Bless your heart!! That is so incredibly sweet of you. I’m genuinely honored. 🤗 I’d say you are the sweetheart! Thank you so very much.
I just love you! Sorry that I’ve been so out of touch. Life was throwing some pretty strong punches as of late. Your kindness in sharing my site with others deeply touches my heart. You are a dear friend and I value you so very much!
Praying you & yours are well! 💞
You’re a wise and kind soul, Holly 🥰 This post is like having a chat with a good friend over a cup of cocoa under blankets around a fire… It just feels like a hug – and don’t we all need a hug from time to time. Here’s one for you 🤗
My sweet friend Eilidh, I can’t apologize enough for not replying to your beautiful message before now!
I would love to hang out with you, cozy blankets, hot cocoa and a peaceful, crackling fire nearby. Good friendship is such a blessing and I count you as a beautiful blessing in my life!
I am sending loads of warm, big hugs right back at you! Thank you for being you! 🤗 You are always an encouragement and I am grateful to have ‘met you’ here my friend.
I really needed this post.
Bless your heart! I am so grateful this post touched your heart and helped you. That’s all I could ever ask for! Praying your Christmas is blessed and that you enjoy yourself with loved ones! ❤
Thank you. Praying yours is a blessing as well.
Insightful and thought-provoking this. A man becomes who/what he constantly sees/think of himself.
Thank you so much! I am very grateful you took the time to share your thoughts with me! I LOVE what you said! What wisdom and truth there is in your statement! As a man/woman thinks in their heart – so we are. (Proverbs 23:7) It’s a true reality we must consider when realizing what we’re thinking and/or feeling. That truth can tell us so much about ourselves!
Love your thoughtful comment. ♥
You’re most welcome
Thank you for this wonderful, heartfelt post! It’s beautifully written and goes deep below the surface of self-doubt issues. I’ve saved it to refer back to later and remind myself of some very important points you’ve made (such as being careful of who we surround ourselves by).
Your compassion and genuine desire to help people shines through here!
What a beautiful and heart touching comment to read! Thank you so much! 🤗 You have genuinely made my day.
My heart smiles to know that this has helped you and is an encouragement to you during tough times. Surrounding ourselves with those who are going in the same direction as us I believe is a big part of our success. Far too often – we allow the voices of others (externally and internally) to determine our path.
Any voice of fear, anxiety, worry, shame, guilt, “you’re not good enough, you’ll not make it,” or any other negativity is simply not one we need to entertain. We are valuable in our uniqueness and are all called to do something special. It doesn’t have to look like anyone else, either.
I am sending you endless blessings for this new year and pray that your dreams find fulfillment. I have to believe they will! 💕 Thank you for such a wonderful comment. It means more than you know!
Oh my goodness Holly!!!! You will never know how much I needed to hear this today! This was amazing! Thank you for this! 💜
Aw Renee, bless your loving heart!! I’m sending you endless hugs and lots of love. I can’t even begin to tell you how much good it does my heart to hear you were touched by this post. That’s all I could ever ask for! I’m grateful to God that He knew what you needed and met you in that place! I’m especially grateful He used me to minister to your heart. You are always a blessing to everyone else. Thank you for being you! 🌺
I think it’s something most, or all, of us deal with at times. Great blog, Holly!
I agree with you Mark. I believe self-doubt does try to cripple us all at one point or another. I am glad you enjoyed! Thanks for stopping in & sharing your 2 cents! 🙏🏼
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Wonderful, helpful, insightful post, Holly. Admittedly, it distracted me long enough to discover I am an ISFJ which subsequently affirms why I feel we have so much in common. I am grateful you found your way to my blog because it inadvertently led me to yours, and I look forward to reading and learning more on Wholeness Haven. Warm wishes —
What a beautiful comment you have left me! My heart is sincerely touched by your words, and I am grateful you found this post helpful. I couldn’t ask for anything more!
I know what you mean about us having some things in common, as ISFJ and INFJ personality types. A good majority of my family members are ISFJ as well. Self-doubt is certainly a strong theme our personality types can fight on a regular basis.
I relate with how much of a distraction self-doubt can be, and how it paralyzes us into inaction. I don’t know about you, but the perfectionist streak in me tends to elevate the noise of the self-doubt. Even though we know it’s all ‘smoke and mirrors,’ it can still be tough at times to shut off the noise and find the truth.
What a joy it is to hear from you. I am grateful to have found your blog as well, and equally grateful you have come here to spend time with me. Thank you! Warm wishes right back to you. God bless you, new friend. I pray you & yours are well!
Thank you for taking time to send a thoughtful reply, Holly. Yes, I have had the perfectionist streak which for me can become paralyzing (especially when adding in self-doubt) but I’ve had some good success in letting some of it go (actually, I think it’s just age related :-)).
I smiled when reading your opening paragraph as I’m guessing we are kindred spirits. Having thousands of readers has never been my goal for writing/blogging; if I can simply help or make a difference for one person, that is enough for me. May God bless you and yours too! 🙂
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